Mornings are not one-size-fits-all. 

Mozart would start his day with composing, Benjamin Franklin would study one of thirteen virtues (on rotation), Jane Austen would play the piano, Sigmund Freud would start his day with the barber that made a house call to trim his beard, Ernest Hemingway would immediately start writing, and Georgia O'Keefe would make a fire and watch the sun rise. Actor, Mark Wahlberg, gets up at 2:30 AM and starts his day with prayer, Actor, Kate Hudson, dunks her face into an ice bath, Author and podcaster, Tim Ferris, makes his bed, and TV personality, Oprah Winfrey, starts with meditation. Apple CEO, Steve Jobs, would look in the mirror and ask himself, "If today was the last day of my life, would I be happy with what I'm about to do today?"  

There are hundreds of ways to start the day, none of which are the one “right" way. 

How I Start My Day 

The very first thing I do in the morning, after I pick up my phone and start Wordle (I am a start-with-the-same-word-everyday player), is roll out of bed, drink a glass of water with my vitamins and then start my work for the day. I respond to emails, prep for meetings, or start working on small tasks. I know I can find articles that will say I am doing it wrong—“NEVER pick up your phone first” or “NEVER read your email first thing”—but guess what?

It works for me. 

Wordle starts my brain. 

Water finishes waking me up. 

Work gets me excited and energized for the day.  

What will get you out of bed in the morning?  

Reading the news? Throwing on gym clothes and exercising? Walking the dog? A cup of coffee? The New York Times crossword puzzle? Mediation or prayer? A novel you can't wait to finish? Making the bed? A conversation or cuddling with your partner? Checking the weather?  

Whatever it is, do that first. And create a small ritual around it.  

After Wordle, water and work, then, depending on my schedule for the day (meetings, projects, etc.), I either get ready and go to the office or I finish out my morning with time to read and write, and move my body. I am trying to make more days for the latter because I need that time, but I also try to give myself some grace when other demands in my life, like the needs of my kids, result in me needing to go to the office early and get in some work before I am needed for chauffeuring or doctor appointments or soccer games. My day-to-day never looks the same: life demands, responsibilities, duties, and adventures provide me plenty of variety, but my routine grounds me. It creates a steady that I crave.  

On an ideal day, my morning looks likes this (I call it my Morning 5): 

1. Wordle 5:00 - 5:05 

2. Water 5:05 - 5:15 

3. Work 5:15 - 5:30 

4. Move body 5:30 - 6:30 

5. Read + write 6:30 - 7:00 

Then it’s go time. I get ready, make protein shakes and lunches, do school drop-off, and head to the office. 

I have tried many different variations of a morning routine, some worked, some didn’t. Plus, routines change. My routine now looks different than it did when my kids were little (and I was getting up with them), it looks different than last year when I was having some challenging health issues, it looks different in the summer, and it will look different when my youngest teenager starts driving. Flexibility is key. But so is a little structure! Our brains are complex and need both variety AND routine. Variety allows our brains to not get stuck, while routine creates a consistency that can produce a calm and safety.  

Why Do Mornings Matter?  

Mornings matter because they can be about you. This isn’t selfish. It is applying the principle of self-interest, in the form of self-care, and may be the only time in the day when your phone isn’t pinging, kids aren’t needing, co-workers aren’t asking, projects and chores and responsibilities aren’t calling. As important as what you do, is why you do it. In an article published by NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Health) it was suggested that a morning routine “can increase your energy, productivity and positivity.” How? 

1. Decision fatigue. Many studies suggest that the average adult makes approximately 35,000 decisions a day. Anything we can do to decrease decision making, especially right when waking up, will help prevent decision burnout as it saves brain energy for more critical decisions.  

2. Knowing what to expect. One of the biggest contributors to anxiety is the unknown. Our brains love to know what’s coming. A routine can create a calm from the first moment of consciousness and carry that through as the day unfolds. 

3. Creating a sense of accomplishment. When we get out of bed and follow a pre-planned ritual, even a simple one, we can feel more regulated and productive. Even something as simple as getting up and making the bed can have a huge impact on how we see the upcoming day (optimistically) and how we feel about ourselves.

Where to Start? 

1. Find something that works. Write down three different routines and try each for three days in a row. Which one fits your life and is easiest to follow? Which one feels the most natural for your current circumstances? Which one created the most excitement to get up and energy to follow through?  

2. Don't complicate it. Consider your circumstances and be realistic. If you only have 5 minutes in the morning, you can create a meaningful ritual with those 300 seconds. 

3. Play offense. What are the barriers you will face? Write them down. Process them. Plan for how to face and fight through them.  

4. Be kind to yourself. Give yourself some grace on the days when things don’t go as planned. You are not always going to get up on time, you are not always going to move at a steady pace (some mornings you will drag), and you can’t control unforeseen fires that flare up without warning. Challenge and stretch yourself? Yes! Force yourself when your body is begging you to slow down for a morning? No! 

5. Be open to change. Sometimes adjustments need to be made depending on circumstances. Don’t be too rigid. Periodically check in with your routine to make sure it is serving you well.  

6. Try adding something new. Changing things up can be the very thing that creates a little excitement and the extra drive to jump out of bed. Some ideas: guided or free-write journaling, meditation, a stretching app, a book and honey lemon water (in your favorite mug), not just scrolling, but commenting and connecting on social media, adding a picture and caption in the Day One journaling app (and then printing a book at the end of the year), taking your baby on a walk, lighting a candle and making breakfast, or turning on your favorite morning news program in the background.  

7. Prepare the night before. What can you do the night before to make your morning easier? A clean kitchen, setting out your gym gear, looking at your calendar, picking out your clothes? Think ahead! You will feel calmer going to bed and more ready to face the day when the alarm goes off.

Barriers

We often live life playing defense—reacting to what is coming at us in the moment. There is, however, wisdom in playing offense by being prepared for the obstacles that will undoubtedly come, making a plan to overcome them and then executing when the pressure is on. It is a lot easier to convince your brain to push through the hard if you have previously considered what may make getting up in the morning more difficult. These could be things such as:

1. Boredom. We tend to hold the bigger things in the highest regard, like holiday traditions or the next vacation. While those things can create excitement and motivation, adding something small to our everyday, something that we can look forward to, is so powerful. The mundane can become, well, mundane. Even successful routines can take on a feel of monotony and strain. Change and variety are a good strategy for alleviating or avoiding this problem. Having a morning routine that gets you out of bed is good and healthy but adding a little extra something is even better. For me, I love the ritual of coffee, but don’t drink it and so I found an alternative. Every morning before I walk out the door, I turn on the Keurig to heat up water and then squeeze a half lemon and add 2 tablespoons of honey. The health benefits are great, but even more great is how much I look forward to the ritual. It calms me. This practice could be the same thing every day or something different. For example, there could be a schedule…maybe Mondays are pickleball, Tuesdays are tacos for dinner, Wednesdays are your favorite show after a long day, Thursdays are dance offs while making dinner, Fridays are date night, Saturdays are pizza and movie night with the kids, and Sundays are a long walk. It could also be completely different every day, something you choose the night before.  

2. Dread & lack of preparation. A meeting you are not ready for or a deadline that is looming can create an underlying anxiety and dread that makes it more difficult to roll out of bed in the morning. Having a system in place to stay on top of your calendar, schedule, and projects can make all the difference. Our brains are going to automatically resist things that are painful or uncomfortable, but avoidance adds an extra layer of complication that is hard to overcome. There are some great tactics to help with confronting what is necessary versus dodging it. Author, Jen Hatmaker, considers what her nighttime self can do for her morning self that will make her day happier and run more smoothly. This could be a 10-minute window at night to look at the calendar and plan for the next day, 5 minutes to stretch your body and think about your day, process through how you are feeling and what you need, or doing some lunch prep so the morning isn’t so rushed. Author, Brian Tracy, suggests to “eat that frog” first by tackling the biggest, hardest task before anything else. 

3. Physical or mental health issues. We all have seasons where new challenges seem to appear, sometimes without warning. We can’t always control when an unexpected physical health challenge may force us into needing to slow down, focus on healing, and make lifestyle adjustments to accommodate the changes we are experiencing. Anxiety, depression, OCD, ADHD, etc. can also be more severe during different seasons and require additional attention and care. Following our regular routines, as much as possible, can be helpful to create some normalcy, but also being patient, aware, and adjusting as needed is important and healthy. 

4. Fatigue. Waking up late after a hard night’s sleep can throw everything off. My full routine takes two hours but I don't always have two hours, especially after a rough night. If I stick to my top 3 - Wordle, water, and work - then I can be done in less than thirty minutes. I like to have more time, I try to make more time, I want to have more time, but reality is reality – if I need some extra sleep occasionally, I take it so I can perform better throughout the day.  

5. Children. When my children were little, I very rarely woke up before they did - I was in survival mode. They are older now, which means I have quiet time in the morning, but when you don’t have quiet time, make your babies part of your routine! Try doing a little yoga session together, taking an “adventure walk” for some fresh air, or having a dance party in the kitchen while making breakfast. And don’t feel guilty about letting them have a little screen time during the morning hours so you can stretch or read or call your best friend! 

6. Interrupters. It is common for events such as holidays, vacations, birthday parties, teen late-night hangouts, work deadlines, and red eye flights to disrupt even well-established routines. Have a plan to get back on track when these occur. For example, instead of taking a nap when it will throw off your regular sleep routine, push past the tired and stay up until bedtime. This is a great way to reset. Just like we form muscle memory and can repeat actions from a place of near automation, we can often get back to our routine with just a simple retune. Humans are a little bit like programmed electronics, we can power off and then power on and get back to our regular functioning. 

Mornings matter. They are an important part of each day and can have a significant impact on our mental, emotional and physical well-being. It is easy to get stuck in a reactionary and chaotic pattern…waking up late, rushing to get out the door, feeling like you just can’t get ahead of it. Taking the time to be deliberate and creating a simple structure can go a long way to pull out of such a cycle, improve each day and add a little bit of peace to your life.